A Day in the Life of an SSC Captain

 

BASKETBALL ALARM CLOCK

7:00 am – Alarm clock goes off. It’s game day.

8:10 am – Pack your sports bag (since you’ll go straight to the 6pm game from work.) Jersey, shorts, cleats, socks, extra socks for Suzie, goalie gloves for Johnny, extra blue jersey in case you get a sub. Check.sports bag

8:15 am – Leave the house.

8:17 am – Return to the house because you forgot the soccer net. Leave again.

9:03 am – Check your attendance on the website. 7 bodies.  Not great. Send a few feeler texts out to potential subs for the game.texting

10:03 am- Respond to text messages. 3 no’s, 1 maybe, and 1 only if he doesn’t have to play defense.

10:45 am – Check out the stats online to see who you’re playing, what’s their record so far, and how you did when you played them in 2012. Then google soccer lineups and start to make mental strategic notes.

11:10 am – Get a message from the opposing team captain saying it looks like rain. Politely remind him that it’s rain or shine and your team will be there.

12:10 pm – Suzie emails you. Can’t make it tonight, something about a hot date. Make a note to your future self to stop letting Suzie on the team. Liz-lemon-eye-roll

1:50 pm – Get a text from Mike saying he can’t make it because he just got tickets to a concert. Which also means Nathan will need a ride or he won’t make it. Text Nathan.

2:30 pm – Finally get a hold of Nathan who hesitantly agrees to meet you at the subway stop at 5:42 pm. Don’t be late, you say.

3:00 pm – Get a message from the opposing team captain saying it still looks like rain. Remind him you will still be there.

3:05 pm – Cindy bails as she’s caught up at work. Great, now you’re facing a potential forfeit. Take to Facebook, Twitter, and group texts to find a replacement.girl wanted

3:30 pm – No response. Next you try SSC’s sweet-ass sub finder tool.

success computer4:10 pm – Success! You lock down a guy and a girl (why didn’t you think of that in the first place). Get them the details and pray they’re legit.

4:30 pm – How is it already 4:30 pm?! You have at least two hours of work to do and only 45 minutes left to do it. Start to panic.

4:50 pm – Ask your office buddy if he’ll coffeecover for you for a free coffee tomorrow. He agrees. Make a mental note to get him coffee tomorrow.

5:15 pm – Watch the door till your boss goes to the washroom then make a run for it. Don’t look back. You’re home free.

5:42 pm – At the stop. No Nathan.Frank-Underwood-Eye-roll-GIF

5:49 pm – Nathan shows up. Luckily you know all the back alleys to get you to the stadium traffic free.

5:57 pm- Arrive on site and start to assemble the net.

6:04 pm- Two teammates show up. Send some frantic texts and apologize to the other team.

6:07 pm- One more teammate shows up. Ok you’ll start a player down.

6:10 pm – The last player shows up. You yell for them to hurry as you’re busy playing defense and mid.

6:55 pm – You win the game 2-0.Pure glory.

7:05 pm – Go for a beer; You earned it.

beer

~Written by Fiona Geddes

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