Are you the good guy or the bad guy on the field? Answer 10 questions to find out! Keep track of your points and then check the grid below.
Your opponent makes a very questionable foul call against you during your match. You:
a) Quickly get back on defence and say “Sorry”. 10 points
b) Furrow your brow and mutter “hmm…not so sure about that one” to yourself. 5 points
c) Punch him in the face and shout “liar!” 0 points
The other team does not have the requisite number of players to start the game. They may have to default. How do you react?
a) You lend them two players from your team. Game on. 10 points
b) You take the default win. Rules are rules. 5 points
c) This is bullsh*t. Zero spirit points today, and forever. 0 points
You head out to a sponsor bar after your game, and you see one of the teams in your league sitting at a table. You:
a) Ask if your team can pull up the adjacent table. There are some cuties on that team! 10 points
b) Give them the ‘look away’. Maybe you’ll give them a nod after a few drinks. 5 points
c) Ask them to leave. This is your bar, and there is no room for enemies. 0 points
An opposing player accidentally steps in your way and your momentum knocks them to the ground. Your immediate reaction is:
a) “Oh no!…sorry about that…my bad”. You help the person to their feet, giving up an offensive opportunity. 10 points
b) “Oops. Careful there”. Not everyone is as coordinated as you. 5 points
c) “I will slit your throat if you get in my way again”. You step on their hands as you play on. 0 points
You make a big play during your game that shifts momentum in your team’s favour. You celebrate with:
a) A subtle fist pump. It’s not your first rodeo. 10 points
b) A carefully choreographed team cheer 5 points
c) a fly by of your opponent’s team area shouting “suck it!”. 0 points
A random person from a previous game asks you if you need another player for your game. Your reply is:
a) “Ah, thanks! But, we should have a full roster tonight”. 10 points
b) A blank stare 5 points
c) “You? I’ve seen you play. You suck. We’re better off playing with no subs”. 0 points
Your team has reached the final. How do you feel leading up to the big game?
a) Kind of excited! I am so proud of my team for making it this far. 10 points
b) No doubt, it is going to get more intense out there than usual. Gotta win that t-shirt! 5 points
c) It is do or die. Literally, I might kill someone. Regular season games are for Jekyll. Playoffs are for Hyde. 0 points
Your team has the late time slot this week.
a) All good. You’re ready to go – any time, any place. 10 points
b) Looks like you might have to fake another cold.Cough, cough. 5 points
c) You tell your captain that you are in, but you’ll probably fall asleep at home on the couch. 0 points
Your team captain requests that you send her payment for the upcoming season. You:
a) Email the money over right away. You know what it is like to be captain, so you make a point of being one of the first people to pay up. 10 points
b) You always pay…once the 5th reminder goes out. 5 points
c) The team should be paying you for your efforts. They wouldn’t have gotten to that championship game last season if you didn’t put them on your back and carry them there. 0 points
The other team has the same shirt colour as your team.
a) That is okay. Your team always brings a back up shirt for moments like these. 10 points
b) You challenge the other team: the winning team this time gets to keep the colour forever. 5 points
c) You refuse to play until the other team has changed. 0 points
75+ Points: You are a super sports star. You are very well liked and respected not only amongst your teammates, but with your opponents too. You’re the type of player that everyone wants to play against. Kudos!
50-74 Points: Ok – you have the occasional flare up, but who doesn’t? Competition brings out an intense side of you, but you rarely cross the line. You are a reliable team player and you are an important part of your team, both on and off the field of play.
25-49 Points: Remember that time that you got kicked out of that game? It wasn’t pretty, but at least you were embarrassed and remorseful. When people say to you: “Hey! it’s a coed recreational soccer game”, you only hear “soccer game”. But, someone’s gotta lose…and it sure isn’t going to be you.
0-24 Points: Let’s be honest; you are a bit of a sports douche, aren’t ya? Hey – we all have our moments. You just happen to live in that space. It’s not too late to make some changes. It starts with realising that you’re not going to make it to the World Cup this year. While you may never believe it, you my friend, are a bad apple.
~ Written by Rob Davies