When I first decided to write a blog for Toronto Sport and Social Club, I had the great idea of highlighting some cool holiday gifts for Toronto sports fans. However, approximately 10,000 other sites had the exact same idea which meant I had to delve even deeper into the world of sports paraphernalia. And let me tell you, that’s a deep hole that I’ll never quite recover from. Here are a few things I learned while trapped in that abyss.
Firstly, there is literally nothing you can’t find with a team’s logo on it. From aprons and oven mitts, nail files, anything that might attach to a car, jewellery, games, and numerous cross-promotion items, everything and anything you can think of likely exists. It’s hard to comprehend the amount of stuff out there that can be purchased.
Secondly, clubs will go to any length to appeal to even the smallest audience. If you like Snoopy and have a vague interest in baseball, there’s a stuffed animal with your name on it. If you enjoy sipping a fine whiskey but hate it when the ice cubes melt, there’s branded steel cubes just for you. If you like to work hard with your hands but can’t stand the thought of having them chapped, there’s a branded set of hand moisturizer, hand sanitizer, and lip balm that’s calling your name.
Lastly, I was so unbelievably naïve to the world of sports memorabilia. I knew there was a variety of clothing, posters, cards, pennants, and autographed items, but I had no idea that this accounted for only a very small portion of items out there.
With that in mind here’s a handful of extremely insightful, unique, or horrifying gifts that you can actually purchase on the interweb.
If you always wanted (your girlfriend) to be a Toronto Raptors cheerleader but you didn’t have the athletic prowess to crack the team, fret not. This authentic Raptors cheerleader outfit is available for purchase on ebay. Judging by the alternate logo on the chest this puppy has been locked away in a closet for at least eight years. Also, it’s safe to assume that the current owner doesn’t own an iron. Still, all your dated fantasies of being/dating a cheerleader could come true for the low price of $50 US.
This next item makes me wonder how the hell I lived my whole life making just regular hot dogs. I can’t believe this exists, but like I said it’s actually harder to find items that don’t have your favourite team’s logo on it. If you’re like me, you probably don’t BBQ much during the holiday season, so this gift may be best for those true BBQ enthusiasts in your life.
Personally I think I’d get a lot more use of this Toronto FC corn hole set than I would the Raptors cheerleader outfit, but maybe that’s because I can’t quite squeeze into a women’s medium. Regardless, corn hole can be both a relaxing activity to pass the time in the summer or an intense competitive drinking sport. No matter how you prefer to play, now you can do so while tossing around bean bags with your favourite team’s logo on it.
If you’re getting hitched anytime soon, then no gift is more appropriate than this Toronto Maple Leafs handmade wedding cake toppers from Mudcards on Etsy. Although you and I may think this is pretty neat, you better ensure your significant other is also a Leafs fan. There’s no way you’re convincing a Habs fan to throw this on top of their cake.
Chalk this one up under the “unusual” category. This silk Toronto Blue Jays rose is something I don’t understand in the slightest. The gist is that it’s a fake rose inside a Blue Jays box. Supposedly a portion of this $20 gift goes towards an unnamed charity or cause, but how anyone would have any use for this “immortal” rose is hard to fathom. Add in the fact that the box is really the only thing that has the team’s logo on it makes it essentially a $20 piece of Blue Jays cardboard.
If there’s one thing that I completely underestimated in the sports memorabilia world, it’s the amount of attention footwear receives. As you can see high heels, sandals, slippers and boots can all be found with your favourite team’s logo on it. I can’t imagine thinking “all I need to make this outfit complete is some red Raptors high heels”, but maybe that’s just a level of fandom I haven’t reached yet.
Yes, this unique item is a real thing, and it can be yours for a mere $20. I’m not really sure if this is supposed to be a fan that’s so embarrassed by the Leafs that he hides in the elements, or if the tree on your front lawn is supposed to be a fan. All I know for sure is that it’s pretty damn creepy.
Believe me when I say that any sort of car accessory can be found supporting your team. (Heck, you can even buy a TFC tire valve cap.) But these window decals take the cake. Everyone knows those annoying family stick people on the back of virtually every family car across the nation, well now those annoying figures can be supporting your team. Hot damn!
Happy Holidays and good luck in the hunt!
~Written by Evan Peaslee (Guest Blogger)